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Altering the Prompt: Kiss, Marry, Cliff

BookBlogWriMo prompt: Book Boyfriend Criteria

I’m going to be honest, I’m not comfortable with this prompt.

I mean, I love romantic side plots in books but dreaming up one for myself?

I wasn’t the girl who dreamed about her wedding and the perfect man who’d be standing beside me at the altar. I was the girl who changed her career aspirations every week, made floor plans of the house she was going to build, and dreamed of her future library.

The reason I liked those romantic side plots was because the two characters were compatible. And I’m not Annabeth Chase, Hazel Levesque, Calypso, Alyss Heart, Emma Woodhouse, Deryn Sharp, Elizabeth Bennet, Tan-Tan, Margo Roth Spiegelmann, Angela, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Tonks, Annie Cresta, or Katniss Everdeen. Those relationships worked because of the dynamic, not because the guy was perfect (no matter how dorky, smart, brave, and/or handsome they are).

And besides, if I just wrote “compatibility” it would make for a really dull post. So I’m altering the prompt a little. Instead, (as inspired by watching quite bit of BookTube over the past few days) I’m going to do Kiss, Marry, Cliff.

Kiss, Marry, Cliff is basically the game F*ck, Marry, Kill, just put in euphemistic terms and with book characters instead of real people. The way it works is that I randomly pick 3 characters from a hat, and I have pick between the three which I would kiss, marry, or push off a cliff.

Ugh, I’m bad at explaining. I’m just going to start and it should make sense from there.

Round 1: Ron Weasley (Harry Potter), Peeta Mellark (Hunger Games), Cadvan (Books of Pellinor)

Oh this is difficult. I’m not killing Peeta because that’s just cruel. If I push Ron off a cliff he can probably apparate away and survive… No, Cadvan’s lived a good long life, and he was kind of pedantic. So I guess Cadvan’s pushed off a cliff. And now I have to choose between two dorks. Er…kiss Ron and marry Peeta. I think, or maybe the other way around? Ugh. I’m going to pass on that part.

Round 2: Ponyboy Curtis (The Outsiders), Alek (Leviathan), Jace Wayland (Mortal Instruments)

Definitely pushing Jace off a cliff. I never liked him. And despite how much I like Alek, I think I have more in common with Ponyboy, so I think I’d marry him, and just kiss Alek.

Round 3: Augustus Waters (The Fault in Our Stars), Carter Kane (The Kane Chronicles), Melonhead (Midnight Robber)

AHHH, why did I fill this with characters I like? I don’t want to push any of them off a cliff!

*5 minutes of contemplation*

I think I’d marry Carter just because he’s such a nerd, and kiss Melonhead because he’s really sweet. Which (groan) means I’m going to have to push Augustus Waters off a cliff…In the words of Nico di Angelo, he’s just “not my type”.

Round 4: Farid (Inkheart), Percy Jackson (PJO), Frank Zhang (Heroes of Olympus)

Oh this is so easy it’s not even funny. Kiss Percy, marry Frank, and push Farid off the cliff. As much as everyone has a giant crush on Percy, I don’t know how much of his dorkiness I could handle long term (Seriously, I admire Annabeth’s resolve). I really do adore Frank, and Farid, despite being a pretty romantic character, just has no sense of commitment.

Round 5: Edward Cullen (Twilight), Simon (Mortal Instruments), Christian (Once Upon a Marigold)

Easy again. Pushing Edward Cullen (even though he’d probably survive the fall), kissing Simon, and marrying Christian. I mean, Christian is this engineer/inventor/well-read guy. Come on.

Round 6: Leo Valdez (Heroes of Olympus), Jonas (The Giver), Ender Wiggin (Ender’s Game)

Oh this sucks. I love these guys. I don’t think I can do this. Hm…

Marry Jonas. He’s the sanest of the three of them, and has some really good morals. (Not to say Leo and Ender aren’t moral, but…they’re kind of broken.) I don’t think I could kiss Ender, but I don’t want to push him off a cliff either. And I really don’t want to push Leo off a cliff, despite him inventing a way to save himself on the way down. Fine: kiss Leo and push Ender.

Oh I’m such a terrible person.

Round 7: Tobias (Divergent), Dodge (The Looking Glass Wars), Thomas (Maze Runner)

I’m very meh about all these characters. I don’t like them, but I don’t hate them either. My problem is that Tobias is a hardhead, Dodge is mentally unstable and overprotective, and Thomas is kind of a pushover.

Hmm, I guess I’d marry Dodge, because even though he let his need for revenge take over him for a while, he eventually got back on his feet. Now for Tobias and Thomas. Thomas is going over the side, because I felt that he should have died in The Death Cure. It didn’t seem fair that he survived meanwhile Newt, Teresa, and a bunch of characters that I actually liked died. And I guess I’d give Tobias a kiss on the cheek. 

Round 8: Laurie (Little Women), Q (Paper Towns), David (Uglies)

I’d marry Q, no questions there. As for Laurie, I’m not too fond of him in the second half of Little Women. So I guess I’d kiss David and push Laurie. (Plus, Laurie got creepy. I was never really convinced that Laurie got over Jo and fell in love with Amy.)

What do you think about my choices? Would you choose differently? Let me know in the comments!

Check out more posts on the BookBlogWriMo 2014 Master Post!

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